When I used to go out I knew everyone I sawNow I go out alone if I go out at all
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Name: Cyrus
Country: United States
State: New York
Metro: New York City
Birthday: 1/2/1986
Gender: Male


Interests: Rain, Music, Da Underground
Expertise: What ever I want
Occupation: Artist
Industry: Other


Message: message me
AIM: obeseoldman


Member Since: 11/3/2004

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We cool kids love to spoon
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SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL MUSIC SCENE, DAMMIT
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! AnTi PoEt !
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-:-Banging Bi-Sexuals-:-
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i like smoking crack, and shooting heroin.
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-(We Love Drugs)-
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GOD I LOVE THE COCK!
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Sunday, January 27, 2008

My my my - how has all this time passed since my last entry? I guess it passed right over me like a jet airplane, because it has been a long, slow and recuperative period.

I don't do drugs anymore. I had a forced-change-of-heart on September 7, 2006. As my previous entry details, I had relapsed after a four month dry spell a few days before - and, to no suprise whatsoever, my old self-destructive, sexually violent, obsessive thought patterns returned before I could say "Yes, Mr. Wilson!"

So, September 7th started as all bad days do. I woke up after having a dream about doing drugs. In the dream, I was at my neighboors house - jonesing and craving pills like a fly craves shit. The house was worn out and yellow, like a 1960's motel, with sun stained curtains that flapped in the hot, tropical breeze. We were all breakfast, and I, despite my clinical depression and social anxiety, was laughing and small talking my way into their hearts. I kept asking if I could go to the bathroom (to rummage through their medicine cabinent) and they kept telling me that I would drown. Finally, I pounded my fists onto the table and said, "I'm going to the fucking bathroom," to which they all laughed. I walked out of the dining room and grabbed ahold of the bathroom door knob - opened the door - and found that it had been completely burned and charred into a black mess. I saw the remainders of the medicine cabinet mirror - half melted on the wall - and opened it up. No good pills - just Aspirin. Ahh No No. Panic!

Then I woke like I had just had the worst nightmare of my life.

(to be finished later


Sunday, September 03, 2006

So, my adventure began yesterday when I was working downtown as Express. I was going about my usual, mind numbing rounds of greeting entering customers and working the register. Right after my lunch break, I greeted an entering customer who I would soon learn was named Roger. He was a fairly attractive man for his age (late thirties maybe early forties), had no body hair which I loved and he wore a nice blue suite. I asked him if he wanted any help and he said, "Sure, as long as its from you."

I showed him around the secluded areas of the store. Each time I put my hands on the clothes he would put his on top of mine. He asked me what I liked to do and I told him that I was always down for anything.

Finally he asked me the question.

"Do you like coke?"

I know I'm supposed to be sober, but instantaneously and unstoppably all my hungry little cocaine receptors were re-activated. My sobriety voice sounded like some haggered little street queen fighting with her purse against a giant, angry, craving mob.

"Yes!" I tried to control my excitement.

We planned to meet up in an hour at the book store downstairs. I made up some shitty excuse to me boss about my sister having epilipsy and I was able to get off early. Me and Roger met downstairs and he quickly escorted me off to his car in the bsaement.

He kept looking at me and smiling like he wanted to rip me apart and fuck me. I kinda liked it. Its a very confident look. It sat well with his nice jaw line. So we go over to his car, which was a nice Mercedez SUV with very darkly tinted windows. He taked me inside and immediatelly pours out a bag of yummy white coke. He makes about ten lines and then takes his shirt off. I inhaled two lines faster than a bolt of lightning and then fucked him , stopping to take a line every few minutes. I must say it was FANFUCKINTASTIC. I even was able to steal about a gram of coke out of the bag at one point. Then he gave me his nmber and said he wanted to see me Sunday at noon back at the mall I work at. I agreed, and now it is early sunday morning and I'm siting typing on my computer because my Ambien doesn't work.

I am really god damn excited.

Cyruses sobriety Born May 1, 2006      Died September 1, 2006


Saturday, July 29, 2006

I broke up with Max a few months back. I sobered up for the google'th time, and needless to say that destroyed our relationship. Plus he was jeepin on me.

Me and my sister and her hubby all hang out alot now.

I gobbled down a bunch of cough pills last night and started robo dialing. I guess that means I'm not sober. Whatever, all I care about is being off the opiates for now.

I work in a clothing store now and it sucks because I have to small talk with people all fucking day. I've discovered I have an irrational fear of small talk or any conversation that goes absolutely nowhere. Talking with the teenage chicks in my store is painfully dreadful.


Friday, December 16, 2005

Happy Birthday Max

I got my little boy a deck of cards. On each card I wrote a different reason why I love him. Plus I'm really fucking poor


Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Max will be done with school tomorrow. Then in a few months its back-to-school week at Kmart, and you know we'll be the first ones in line. I found a gameboy in his backpack next to injectable demerol tablets. What am I doing?


 




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